Getting Close

Was just thinking today that we are only 2 1/2 weeks away from leaving. That's a bit overwhelming in some ways. It's been an interesting few months. Of course, when you're getting ready to go, work always goes crazy. Thankfully I have been blessed by the best group of associates a lawyer could hope for. It's a really nice feeling to be able to go away for six weeks and not have any worries about your files or your clients. (Thanks Ksena, Derek & Kerry Lynn)
So now I just have to get ready, get prepped and get through all the things on my to do list before I go.

One thing that won't be a problem is examples for teaching. It seems over the past few months, I have had ample opportunity to repeatedly apply the principles we will be teaching in my own life. It's ironic and humbling how much more difficult it is to apply your advice to yourself. Of course, I've always realized that, but somehow realizing it intellectually and realizing it because you are going through the grinder of conflict are really two different levels of understanding.

What becomes clear is that I can't do this reconciliation thing myself. I need help - divine intervention really. Despite the years of training, my first reaction - my "natural" reaction - is to follow the old Adam - either try to avoid conflict or else go in with both barrels blazing. It's only when I start to rely more on God and less on me that this whole reconciliation thing seems to work. Being able to lovingly stand firm without lashing out is simply not something I can do on my own. When I fail to do this - which is most of the time - the problem just gets worse. If I've folded, then the problem isn't resolved and I'm ticked with myself for not standing up. The other person takes my acquiescence as approval of their behaviour and they keep on doing the thing that is causing me grief. If I've blasted the other person, the conflict heats up and suddenly things are a lot worse.

What brings this all to mind? I'm in another conflict. (No, I'm not telling you what it is!) Yeah I know, 2 1/2 weeks to Australia, I shouldn't be in a conflict. All the reviewing I've done should have some effect. But the reality is that we are at once both saint and sinner and daily we fall short. Once again, I've failed to make the grade. But, as my friend Ted loves to say, I have good news. Jesus Christ loves me very much and he died on the cross for that sin as well. Even though it's only 2 1/2 weeks to Australia. Even though I've done it before. Even though I know better. I am forgiven. Even if the other person won't forgive me this time for blasting them.

More importantly, even though I'm at a loss as to how to try to deal with this differently, I also know He is walking along side me to help me with that too. And while I'm at a loss, He isn't. So I guess I will just do my best to walk faithfully in his Word - to follow the process - and to leave the results to Him. He is able to change hearts - both the other person's and mine. Which is good because I'm not to clear on how my heart needs to change either. Thank God I don't have to be! Soli Deo Gloria!

Hm, funny, I was going to write about my newest travelling companion for this trip. Oh well, maybe next time. God bless your week.